Guest Reviews: Halloween Edition

Happy Halloween everyone!

30 rock halloween gifI hope everyone has their costumes and horror movies picked out for tonight. Check out two reviews we wrote for the Halloween Kingathon hosted by Movies Review 101 and Movie Rob:


Cujo

EXCERPT: I feel for the dog in this movie. Both the character of Cujo and the dog actor who had to wear five pounds of slime for days of filming. Even when he’s rabid, Cujo shows some signs that he’s still fighting for control. Which means the dog was out-acting most of the cast. The only crewmember working harder is the composer who busily adds piano tones to dramatic moments, letting us know that these moments are in fact dramatic.

Rating: 4/10

Favorite moments:

  • Police officers arrives on the scene, drives right past a bloodied car, starts to radio in to HQ, hears a noise, and decides “hey that sounds suspicious. I better go check on that. No need to tell HQ about that literal horror scene of a car. I probably ought to keep my pistol in its holster. There might be kids around.”
  • A blood covered Cujo startles his owner in the same room where a man was recently eaten alive. Once the owner sees his loving dog he mumbles “Oh god…you’re rabid.” You got it guy. It’s nice of you to explain it to Cujo or anyone who ducked out of the theater to get popcorn during the introduction’s endless, music-filled prairie scene.
  • Donna gets out of the car and is wearing high heels. Why would you be wearing those with a killer dog on the prowl? That’s definitely a time to go barefoot.

Children of the Corn

EXCERPT: That one thread that almost makes Children of the Corn worthwhile is the Lord of the Flies version of the film. A movie about a cult of children who kill all the adults in their town is an interesting if not original concept. Why not just make a movie about that? About how easy it is for people to be swept up by religious fanaticism. Isaac would be the charismatic leader who claims to have the sole connection to their god. Malachai would be the trusty sidekick who grows suspicious of Isaac’s holiness and starts to wonder if Isaac is deceiving the group. Have two adults stumble into the town to stir the pot and force the children to reckon with what they’ve done. Instead, the movie covers this interesting element with the actual supernatural.

Rating: 3/10

Horror Tropes Checklist:

  • Lighter that won’t stay lit.
  • Creepy kids (triple check)
  • Tripping over your own feet during an escape.
  • Final scare (This one was horrible. The movie ends in a very weird way because of this. After that final jump scare, the actors just sort of walk off screen, as if they weren’t sure when the director would cut. That uncertainty carries over to the audience. “Oh so I guess it’s over?” 

Have a great Halloween everyone!

Damien from Flashback/Backslide

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