With the best film starring heroic fish since Jaws, Pixar moves from the professional terrorizing of human children by Monsters to the abduction of fish children by humans. If you assume love for the studio which haunts our children with images of toy murder, fish addiction, fish abduction, and grasshopper death by bird, I hate to break it to you but it doesn’t stop here. In fact, these monsters picked up their first Best Animated Feature Oscar with this harrowing tale.
Finding Nemo starts with a young couple celebrating the purchase of a new home and the upcoming birth of their children. Sadly but unsurprisingly (this is a Pixar movie after all) the celebration is brutally cut short. The couple steps out onto their porch where they see a murderer lurking in their neighborhood. Before they can retreat to safety, the father is attacked and knocked out. When he wakes up he finds his wife and children have all been murdered except for one child (who grows up with a birth defect). Guys, this is a kids movie. This is meant for children.
So a few years later we catch back up with Marlin and his only surviving son Nemo. Marlin has become extremely protective of Nemo, which is obviously warranted given the way the movie opens. Of course, the son resents this smothering and acts out repeatedly. Eventually he gets himself kidnapped which honestly only validates Marlin’s earlier concerns. Now the father has to cross the ocean to rescue his son who is being held captive in a tank with a delusional woman who doesn’t understand mirrors, a germophobic caffeine addict, a French guy, and Ray Romano’s insecure older brother. Along the way Marlin encounters a woman with short-term memory loss, three British guys in their own form of Alcoholics Anonymous (spoiler alert: One of the guys try to kill then eat Marlin and his companion Dory), a mine field (which explodes), a predator who lures people in with shiny lights, and a murderous little human girl. Okay, take your bets for what this movie is rated. R? PG-13 if the MPAA is being a little lax? No, those pencil pushers gave it a G, like they’re begging to give our kids nightmares. I say we launch a full scale investigation to see which lobbies are manipulating our movie industry.
All that being said, the movie is…pretty good. Would I recommend it? Yeah. But not to anyone under 13. Make that 15.